Addiction-proof your child

One of the podcasts I listen to regularly is by Jane Nelson, author of the Positive Discipline series of books. I’ve mentioned Positive Discipline for Preschoolers in a previous post in September, but I actually began listening to the author’s “Focusing on Solutions” podcast months before I began reading the book. Earlier this month in Episode #48 Dr. Nelson interviewed Stanton Peele, PhD, the author of Addiction Proof Your Child: A Realistic Approach to Preventing Drug, Alcohol, and Other Dependencies. This interview (listen to it here) is in part about the nature of addiction and in part about the responsibility that we have as parents.

I’m bringing up this topic because, according to Dr. Peele’s unconventional thinking, “addiction-proofing your child” is about more than warning him/her of the dangers of drugs, sex, alcohol, the Internet, etc. It’s about preparing children to handle life’s challenges and reducing the likelihood that they will turn to self-destructive behaviors in order to avoid dealing with their problems. And the process starts well before children have the opportunity to experiment with these addictive substances and/or activities.

Dr. Peele advises that rather than “announcing a completely improvident and impossible goal” of abstinence from risky activities, we need be realistic and intellectually honest when discussing these issues with our children. As one who tries to keep in mind the long-term goal of raising my daughter to become a secure, well-adjusted, self-confident woman, this makes a lot of sense. However as someone who is an admittedly over-protective parent, I find the idea of letting go of the “scare tactics” to which I was subjected to be, well, . . . scary. I imagine that I would like the feeling of control, the sense of “taking action,” that I’d get from lecturing my child against drugs. Then again, I am relieved to think that I may not have to resort to lectures.

I value wisdom that comes from first-hand experience. In fact it was my observation of others that caused me to steer clear of experimental drug-use. That’s right. I have never tried an illegal drug. Seriously. My only “walk on the wild side” came at the age of 28, when I coughed/choked/retched my way through a quarter of a cigarette as an experiment with a friend. It took three days for my lungs and throat to recover from the experience. So, you see, as far as first-hand experience goes . . . I lack credibility. That lack of credibility has worried me because I’ve assumed that first-hand experience and direct observation produce the best lessons. Anyway, I look forward to reading this book and learning how to approach these topics without resorting lectures or threats.

And if, after reading this rather long post, you have a few more moments, I encourage you to view what Dr. Nelson’s blog says about the interview. In it she talks about how Dr. Peele’s book relates to the principles of positive discipline and tells how we can use those principles to “help children learn to use their personal power in useful ways.”

Sorry this is so long!

Tara